Added: Domonic Cowell - Date: 01.12.2021 12:54 - Views: 23268 - Clicks: 2500
Knowing how to get to know someone is one of those things that seems simple on paper, but is often surprisingly difficult.
Well, getting to know someone is often easier said than done. Connecting on a surface level is a breeze — you do it with the person who serves your coffee or rings up your groceries all the time. Moving beyond the small talk, and into the get to know you questions and tactics, is what takes guts, effort, and a little know how.
Context is everything. While it may take some time for someone to fully warm up to you, simply looking someone in the eye and smiling is the first step to forming a connection. And after all, getting to know a new person is fun.
The initial smile sets the tone for the coming conversation. A person is much more likely to be willing to open up if the mood is lighthearted and pressure-free. Before you start getting too deep, just scratch the surface with some small talk. Your mutual surroundings should provide adequate inspiration. Talking about the weather is always an easy one. This initial conversation is just to help the other person to feel more comfortable around you. Once you feel comfortable moving on to slightly more in-depth topics, you can use conversation starters to help the other person open up further.
The art of starting a conversation requires that you know your audience. Asking a potential employee about his pets would probably come off a bit weird. On the other hand, puppies and kittens make an easy, lighthearted conversation topic on a first date. Good conversation starters are that middle ground between small talk and getting to know you questions that are a bit more personal. For example, you could ask what a person did over the weekend, or what kind of music they listen to.
The goal of a conversation starter is to initiate a conversation. Do not just ask a question, listen to the answer, and then ask another question! These are conversation starters, not interview questions.
Allow the answers to lead into other topics naturally. Find that balance. By now you should feel comfortable chatting with each other. Getting to know you questions help you to get a little more personal while still keeping things fun and casual. Again, context is everything. Now, this may not be an issue if the other person is good at firing questions back at you. If not, you may need to talk about yourself a bit. Sharing information is a great way to connect with someone and open up the lines of communication further.
By now, you should have some sort of a connection going. Now you want to find some common ground. For example, if you both love a certain movie director, you can talk about your favorite films by him and why. This opens up the possibility for more in-depth discussion with film as the backdrop. Identifying and discussing mutual interests lets you get deeper without being too direct. After all, the person may be put off if you ask a personal questionbut they may be willing to talk about personal things on their own, unprompted.
Discover what makes the other person tick, and encourage them to talk about it. By now, you should be able to tell if you want to continue pursuing a relationship. If so, make a plan based on your mutual interests. This strengthens the existing bond. Having plans on the horizon is the glue that keeps a relationship together. By now you should feel comfortable around the person. It may be tempting to start asking deeper questions, but that can be a risky move.
Instead, try talking about something personal. Everyone is different, and some people may not be willing to put themselves out there until they trust you fully. Simply move on, and wait for a better opportunity down the road. However, you should always try to ask questions that are more specific to that person.
For example: if you're talking with a womanuse these deep questions to ask a girl or these questions to ask a girl. The internet can also be a serious blessing for those who get nervous during face-to-face interactions. Sending someone a Facebook invite to an upcoming concert is a lot easier than directly asking them to you! Group hangouts make getting to know someone a lot easier. The people you surround yourself with say a lot about you. You suggested plans based on mutual interests back in step 7. By now, you should have a good idea of what kind of activities are going to go over well. If not, play it safe and invite them over for dinner and a movie at your place.
Lend an ear when they need to vent, or a shoulder when they need to cry. Chatting and getting to know you nice things for each other. Plan surprises. A solid relationship benefits both parties. At the same time, one of the easiest ways to kill a relationship is to be too clingy. A healthy relationship requires personal space. Every single relationship is unique, and what works for one may not be ideal for another.
When it comes down to it, the best way to get to know someone is to be the type of person that other people want to get to know. You can do your best to cultivate it, but there are no guarantees. Above all, be empathetic.
Treat people how you would want to be treated. It all starts with a smile. From there, just be your charming, friendly, and charismatic self. Jasper is our expert conversationalist and wordsmith. He loves coming up with questions, jokes, and topics deed to create natural conversation. His work has been featured on Marriage. Jasper lives in Georgia with his new bride. Pin Share Watch this video on YouTube. About The Author. Jasper Jasper is our expert conversationalist and wordsmith. Chatting and getting to know you Posts. Open toolbar.Chatting and getting to know you
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7 Ways To Make The Most Of The ‘Getting To Know You’ Phase Of The Relationship